baby sleep problems: how to get a baby to sleep

Babies can't talk so they cry in order to communicate with you. Sometimes they are in distress but at other times they may just want to say 'Mum, I'm here...'

Most crying occurs within the first 12 weeks. Some babies are very placid while others seem to cry all the time, but the amount they cry varies as much as the amount some people talk. It's important to remember that your baby is not crying because you have done anything wrong.

Sometimes a baby cries because he's hungry or uncomfortable. It may be something as simple as lying on an uncomfortable crease in his cot bedding, or being wet. He may have had a bad dream or just needed to see your face. He may even be telling you he wants to go to sleep and doesn't want to be passed from pillar to post! You will learn to recognise many of his cries and you will get to know which cries are 'out of character' and which may signify that there is something wrong such as illness or fear.

Never hesitate to consult your health visitor or doctor if you are unable to calm your baby once you have addressed all the usual concerns such as hunger or changing his nappy. If your child does not seem ill and you just can't pinpoint what is going on, then try the following:

• Carry your baby with you from room to room as much as possible. Babies like to be close to you so have him in a baby sling or carrier and talk soothingly as you move around the house.
• Put the baby in the car and have a drive. Many babies love the motion of a car.
• Ask a friend to come to give you a breather. A mum can get very stressed when she hears her baby crying incessantly. A friend doesn't have the same emotional attachment and can care for your baby while you have a coffee or a walk round the block.
• If you feel at the end of your tether and there is no-one to help out, put the baby in his cot and leave the room for 10 minutes. Your baby will not come to any harm in this time and you are not to blame. Try to calm down and take some deep breaths. When you feel better, go back to your baby. He will feel better if you feel better.
• Remember that periods of crying will almost certainly diminish as time goes on. At three months of age many babies cry for between two and three hours in a day. It seems a lot when it comes all in one go but it will lessen as your baby gets used to the world.

Repeated sleepless or broken nights are one of the biggest sources of stress for parents of young children. Many babies and toddlers sleep less than the accepted norm, but as long as they are happy during their waking hours and do not seem unwell, they do not need medical attention.

There are several things you can do to try to improve sleep problems:

• Try to introduce a regular bedtime routine. The actual shape of the routine is entirely up to you, but it could include a bath, story and cuddle. Using the same routine every night will encourage your child to settle down more readily.
• Don’t feel guilty if your child has a sleep problem. There is no evidence that parents cause children to wake, though you learn ways of coping better if they do.
• Don’t rush in if you hear your child stir in the night. Children tend to wake more frequently than adults anyway, and will often cry out, roll over and go back to sleep again. If from the start you rush in, put the light on, and check that your child is all right, then he or she will almost certainly wake completely.
• Don’t use cough medicines or antihistamines as sedatives. They do not work, are potentially dangerous and will leave your child miserable the next day.
• Try not to feed a baby to sleep. If a baby is always fed to sleep, he learns that he needs something in his mouth to settle, so if he wakes he is likely to cry until given a bottle or breast. By gently waking a baby at the end of a feed and then lying him down, he will learn to be able to sleep without the feed continuing and so will be less likely to cry out on waking

Whether your baby has problems nodding off or won’t settle at bedtime, it’s always good to pick up a few tips on how to get a baby to sleep.

Many people with little ones will tell you that when you have a baby, a good night’s sleep goes out of the window; however there are ways to develop a bedtime routine for your baby so that you too can squeeze in forty winks before morning. 

Here we share a few tips on getting your baby to sleep through the night and discuss some of the common baby sleep problems.  We look at how to cope with crying with ways to calm and relax your little one as well as ways to help baby with problems sleeping. 

We also offer important advice on how to reduce the risk of cot death to keep your baby safe at night. 

Like all parents, you want to make sure you do everything to keep your baby safe. Sadly, about 300 babies die suddenly and unexpectedly each year in the UK. These sudden and unexplained deaths are known as sudden infant death syndrome or cot death.

The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths has been running a campaign to help parents reduce the risk of cot death, and is succeeding in reducing the number of deaths by half over the last 15 years. Their website (www.fsid.org.uk) contains detailed and helpful advice.

Here is a summary of the key steps you should take to reduce the risk:

• Place you baby on his back to sleep.
• Cut smoking in pregnancy - mums, and dads too.
• Don't let anyone smoke in the same room as your baby.
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• Do not let your baby get too hot (or too cold). Keep baby's head uncovered - place your baby with his feet to the foot of the cot, to prevent wriggling down under the covers.
• Do not share a bed with your baby if you have been drinking alcohol, take drugs or if you are a smoker.
• If your baby is unwell, seek medical advice promptly.